


The Light in the King's Shadow

by mbav54



Category: My Babysitter's A Vampire
Genre: Alternate Universe - Medieval, Angst, Assassination Attempt(s), Cruel King, Emotional support Rory, King x Servant, King!Ethan, M/M, Most Characters are dead, Peasant!Benny, Servants
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-01
Updated: 2019-04-04
Packaged: 2019-11-07 11:07:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17959325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mbav54/pseuds/mbav54
Summary: After an incident that ended with the whole royal family's death except the Prince's the, now-King Ethan had turned cold and cruel.Benjamin, frustrated with King Ethan's cruelty, decides to attempt assassination. When things don't go as planned, Benjamin finds himself as a servant to the king. But he discovers that he king might not be so bad after all. Maybe he could be the change the king needed.





	1. First Day

**Hi, all!**

**This is gonna be challenging. It’s a medieval story, so I’m gonna have to do some research. But if you like pain, suffering, and overall violence in fics, welcome! All others, also welcome!**

**You know, at first, when I thought of this idea, I was like, “wait, this is medieval, and it’s gonna be set in England. Does that mean they’ll have a British accent?” Answer is: no! Historical TV shows are a LIE! They all used to talk in an American-like accent. Fucking disappointing. But here we are!**

**Anyway, important note: this is my own AU, so some historically accurate stuff won’t be applied here. The Gay™ was not okay before, but that’s bullshit here! That mindset doesn’t apply to my fanfic. I can do whatever the fuck I want. Kay? Got it? Great!**

**Enjoy pain!**

* * *

Normally, Benjamin was good at stealing. He’d been used to it since he was a child. Of course, he’d never told his family that he stole, up until recently since his grandmother was wondering where he had gotten all these fruits and bread rolls. But he still stole. He was a natural at it, and he was good at shifting the attention and getting away with food that was now his. He had to be a natural. He was poor, and he couldn’t buy enough to support himself and his grandmother.

But today, he didn’t aim to steal the apple that was in his hand just so he could bring food to their old, crumbling home. No, today was different.

Today was the day he decided he wanted to kill the king.

So, what better way to do it than to steal and get caught? He would be brought for punishment, and oh, did the king love being there to give the punishments.

He knew it wasn’t a good plan. Not at all. He was an impulsive man, and he didn’t have any plans. He didn’t even know what exactly would happen in the castle if he were to get there. He just knew he had to face the king. Even if he didn’t kill him, he at least wanted to tell him how much he despised him. How much his people despised him. He was a cruel king. Perhaps the king deserved what had happened to him six years ago. The people who had suffered with him didn’t deserve it, but he did. He hoped the king would go to whatever Hell that existed after he died.

“Get back here, you bastard!” said the fruit merchant.

Benjamin made a pitiful attempt at running, then when he was caught by the merchant, he felt his heart beat even faster. He was scared. A part of him didn’t want to go to the castle, but oddly, he was itching that he was finally going to face the monster.

“You shitface – you’re going to face the punishments of the king. And he’s going to cut your head off! I’ll make sure of it! Federic, come with me! You suffered from his stealing, and you witnessed this man take my food many a times,” the merchant said.

The trip wasn’t pleasant at all, either. The merchant would shove him and call him names. He didn’t care. He just wanted to arrive to the castle and get his task done. And soon enough, they were there. The castle, as beautiful as the previous Queen Samantha had made it, didn’t feel so beautiful anymore despite the blooming garden still remaining and the castle looking just as grand. Now, it was the silence, the loneliness, and the unwelcoming nature of the place that made it unpleasant. And at the core of it – King Ethan.

There were others here waiting with fear as they heard their punishments. Benjamin could hear the king from the Throne Room saying things such as, “throw him in the dungeons”, “a traitor like you must die”, “burn the witch at the stake tomorrow evening”, and other horrifying, absurd sayings.

So, when it was Benjamin’s turn to see what his punishment would be, he felt the weight of his decision at last. What had he brought himself to?

He entered the Throne Room with the two men that had come with him, but now his head was down. As the men told of the many occasions where Benjamin had stolen and done other crimes he had forgotten about, he looked up to see the king. His heart skipped a beat.

He remembered a time when the king used to be a charming prince. He used to smile, see how the people were doing regularly, and walk through the markets with the cheerfulness of a prince who cared. Once upon a time, he had wished the Prince Ethan would notice him. Choose him as a Prince to wed. Or perhaps just glance at him. Because his smile was enough to make the kingdom satisfied. Everyone loved him.

But six years ago, his face didn’t seem to recognize what a smile was. He was always frowning. He was always angry. He didn’t look handsome anymore. As a king, no one loved him. Despite the fact that he was raised by the kindest king this kingdom had seen. King Ross was a blessing. And so was King Ethan when his father was alive. But after that, there seemed to be something in him that snapped – that rotted. And even when Benjamin looked at him, all he could see is a disgusting face.

The king’s hand, which was fisted, had been on his cheek lazily, his elbow supported by the arm of the throne. He didn’t seem to care. Instead, he seemed bored. Upon hearing what Benjamin had done, he removed his hand from his cheek as if ready to say something, yet he still looked bored, his eyes almost sleepy, but not quite. He motioned to the right of his throne. “Men, it’s been a long day. I’ve heard of theft throughout it. Send him to the dungeons. I’ll deal with him tomorrow. Perhaps have his hands cut off. That might be fun to see.” He gave a smirk, but it was quick to disappear.

Benjamin gulped. He felt himself lose hope that anything good would happen to him. Fate was horrible to him. Maybe he wouldn’t have his hands cut off and he’d be killed instead. Just when the merchant had shoved him forward, footsteps could be heard coming from the hall to the left of the throne. “Brother, why must you do this to me?” Princess Jane was here. He had forgotten she was in the kingdom this week. “You just sent the farmer’s daughter to be burned tomorrow? And you called her a witch? Father would be disappointed in you. Free her this instance!”

“As if the guards would say no to you. I told them to listen to you, but Sister, you cannot go against my ruling!” said the king.

Benjamin felt the shoving again. They were momentarily distracted, but he still knew he would suffer what the king had decided for him. “No, stop!” Or maybe not. “What is it this time, Ethan? Are you sending him to a death penalty just because he broke a torch on the streets?”

“My dear sister, I would never do something so absurd,” he said.

“With you, I never know. You seem to be getting worse and worse every year. Next thing I know, you’ll be sending babies to drown because they cried in your presence,” she said, her voice getting higher. She was always so calm around the people. Maybe her brother brought out the angriness in her. Although, what she had just said almost made Benjamin want to laugh. There was a reason she was so loved. She may be young, but she was worth a thousand men. At least, that was what her prince husband had said. He wasn’t here to confirm that, though. He was too busy being a prince in his own kingdom and avoiding the wrath of his wife’s brother. A smart man.

“My lady,” the merchant said. “He is a thief. And he’s caused many merchants great losses! It is too much, your highness. The king is going to cut his hands tomorrow.”

She sighed. “It would bring you pleasure to torture your people, wouldn’t it?” She shook her head. “Your hands will not be cut off. That is my gift to you. The king would not oppose what I say. I can assure you that.” The king seemed displeased, but he didn’t say anything.

Benny bowed his head. “Thank you, Your Highness.”

“It is my pleasure,” she said. “But tell me, why would you steal so much?”

Benjamin looked at the king, who was fuming silently at what was happening. Yet, as she said, he didn’t oppose her. He looked back at the kind-hearted of the two siblings and said, “I am very poor, and the money I make is not enough to feed me and my grandmother. I would take another job, but frankly, there are more people in the kingdom than there are jobs. I do not have a choice, and I do not want to beg for money.”

“I do not understand the point of this. I do not need to listen to pity stories,” the king said. Why was he like this? If he wanted Benjamin to kill him right then and there, then he needed to speak a bit more. Benjamin would be delighted to try, despite guards surrounding the room.

“Would you please be quiet? This conversation is for people who have the capability to feel. It is not for cold-hearted people such as yourself,” she said. Again, Benjamin almost laughed. She really could make the king stop talking.

The king stood up. “All right. Be done with this. There is no one after this man. I would like to go and have my supper.”

“Well, perhaps this man can give you your supper,” said the princess.

The king raised his eyebrows. “And you expect me to let this man walk in my castle?” he asked, enraged.

“He said he cannot afford to feed the family. We have work to be done in the castle. Servants have left you years ago, and now there are not enough people to help you,” she said. “Have this man be your servant. You will get a servant, and he will get to eat.”

“You have done enough, Sister,” the king said in a low voice, a voice that would’ve made Benjamin tremble if it wasn’t for the princess.

“And you haven’t done enough. Shame on you for leaving your people to suffer. If you do not mercy your people, I do not know what would happen to your soul after you pass,” she said, ready to walk away.

“Fine, fine,” he said, beckoning for Benjamin to follow him. “I will only do this for you, Jane.”

She nodded, a smile appearing on her face. “Thank you, King Brother.” She turned to Benjamin. “You will work here now. But if you steal from the castle, you will have to be punished. We are giving you food and money, and there would be no excuse for stealing.”

“Yes, Your Highness,” he said. He was thankful, but his heart still wouldn’t stop beating fast. He would be around the king now. This was going to make Benjamin’s life scarier than it was before.

After things have been settled with the merchants, the princess had made the king come towards her. She looped her arm around his, a big smile on her face as she looked at him. In the meantime, the king made no expression of affection, but Benjamin did not doubt he loved his sister. No ruthless king would let his sister free prisoners. He wouldn’t let her get a thief and make him a servant. He had to love her to let her do what she wanted. And if he didn’t love her, who was there to love? She was the only family he had left. She could be the only one who can soften his heart.

Too bad she barely came to the kingdom. Who would come? People wanted to leave, and they _were_ leaving.

Well, now the merchants have left and Benjamin was left with the two royal members of the family. “Come,” the princess had said.

Benjamin nodded and followed behind.

The king walked down the hallway that his sister had come from, all the while his sister was walking with him, her arm in his. Benjamin, who was walking behind them, was led to an old lady who was apparently the head servant. After the king had gone, the old lady smiled. “A new member of the family. Delightful!” she said, and brought him inside a big room – the servants’ room. There weren’t many in it. There were a few maids, chatting among themselves in the peace of this room, and two men were sitting and eating. He could smell the food. Was it freshly made? It smelled wonderful. “You can go change and wash yourself. The food for the king and princess is being made now. Once it’s done, I’ve been ordered to let you bring it. You can meet the other servants in the wait. More are coming in a bit.”

The first thing he did was wash himself. The water felt nice here. It wasn’t great, but it was better than what he was used to. Then, he put on his new servants’ clothes. They felt like soft cotton, unlike his rough clothes that he couldn’t wear without feeling uncomfortable. It was then that he realized how poor he was. The castle was so beautiful, the clothes were nice, the food smelled delicious. He’d never experienced that. Ever. And his parents would never experience this. _Mother, father. I hope you can see me now. This might be the first night I’m getting food without trouble._ He swallowed. _I’m sorry, but I have to serve the king for now, just to survive, just to give my grandmother some ease of mind. Even if I_ am _serving the man who killed you. I promise I will kill him. I promise I will avenge you. But not now._

During the wait, Benjamin talked to the two other male servants, who felt bad that Benjamin had to be the king’s personal servant. “He might not be as horrible when he is in the castle because he is not surrounded by his people, but that doesn’t make him any less of a scary king here.” That did not make him feel better.

Benjamin scoffed. “Why would he be angry at the people? We did nothing.”

“I do not think he is angry at the people,” the blond servant said. “I am not sure, but my best guess would be that he is frustrated, and he’s letting his frustration out on us.” That made more sense. Still, there was a flaw in that logic.

“That is not frustration,” Benjamin said.

The servant shook his head. “I do not know what it is, but that is how I can describe it.”

“The king’s servant? What is your name?” That was the old lady’s voice. Benjamin stood and turned to her.

“Benjamin,” he said. “Is the king’s food ready?”

She nodded. “Come with me, Benjamin,” she said. And so, he followed her. As they walked, she turned to him and said, “Benjamin. Such a lovely name. The king appreciates lovely names. He would like yours.”

“He has a fascination with names?” he asked, smiling in an amused way. He did not take the king as such a man.

“Not a fascination. He likes how names sound and what they mean. He thinks the meaning represents people,” she said.

“Is that so? And what does his name mean?”

She laughed a bit. “I think you would find it fitting. It means _firm_ and _strong_.” She smiled sadly. “He was always a strong man. It is now that he is abusing his strength. How unfortunate. Of course, I cannot say that to his face.”

Benjamin wanted to change the subject. “And what does my name mean?” he asked.

“Well,” she said, opening the door of a room, which he found out to be the kitchen. “I’m not sure, to be frank. I will have to do some reading, and I will come back to you with that information.”

Benjamin smiled. She was nice to be around. At least this castle can be tolerable. “Here. Bring this to the king and his sister. I will lead you to them. They will probably be in the king’s chambers. If not, then in the dining room.” He took the tray of food being offered to him. He felt his mouth water. There was a whole chicken, a stew of some kind, a steaming potato with something stuffed inside it, an assortment of fruits, and finally, sweets.

“Do not worry, Benjamin,” she said, laughing. “You will serve the food, then get to eat afterwards. Unless the king wants you to do another task before you eat.”

“Let us hope he does not,” he said, taking a step towards the door they came from.

“Oh, I forgot. One second, Benjamin. He needs his medicine,” she said, rushing towards a cabinet. Within it, he could see spices. Many spices. And below, it seems there was medicine put into small jars that had a cork to close them off.

“Medicine?” he asked as she put one jar on the tray.

“Yes, medicine. The king has chest pains frequently. That along with vomiting,” she said. “So, he has to take the medicine for every meal. We’ve already put jars in the kitchen so it is more convenient for us than walking to the physician before the meals. Or rather, it is more convenient for you now.”

Chest pains and vomiting? The king was sick and people outside of the castle didn’t know? What else did he not know about the king? He imagined there was a lot to discover in this castle.

“Follow me, Benjamin. And do as I do, understood?” she asked.

He nodded, walking beside her until they reached a door by the end of one of the halls. He realized he needed to remember where the room was. He was not paying attention. Perhaps when they get back, he will be more aware of the paths.

As they approached the room, he could hear the king and the princess whispering. While they were trying to be silent, they were still a bit loud.

“I am sorry.” That was the princess. “I cannot come back if you remain this way! I love you, but you scare me!”

“And scaring you means you will cut all your ties with me? This is insanity!” he said.

“I am not cutting all ties with you! I will send you letters, but I will not come unless you change. And I do hope that you change. I want to visit again.”

That was the last they said before the lady knocked on the door. Benjamin stood behind the lady, looking down at the floor. He knew he shouldn’t be looking at the floor when he entered. It wouldn’t be appropriate to avoid looking at the king, especially when greeting him with the princess. But right now, while the conversation was still fresh in his mind, he felt devastated. He didn’t want the princess to not come back. Not only did he feel like the kingdom would long for her mercifulness, but if she does not come back, it means the king will have not changed for the better.

Either that would happen, or Benjamin would finally kill the king. No, no, the princess would come then. She would grieve over her brother. But she would be lonely then. She would be the queen, yes, but Benjamin would have caused her sadness. He didn’t know what to think anymore. The royal family was causing him more trouble than he thought.

“Your Majesty, supper is ready,” said the old lady.

A second of silence fell before steps were heard. The king had come to open the door. His face, at first glance, seemed mostly neutral, with a bit of his all-too-familiar glare. However, on second glance, Benjamin could see the sadness hiding behind his eyes, behind the quiver on his lips that he had for a second.

“You may come in,” he said, stepping aside. His eyes remained on Benjamin, and it did not feel comforting to have the king look at him for so long.

“Set the tray on the table,” she said, motioning towards a small, round table that was about the same size as the tray. There were two chairs around the table, although that seemed to be as much as the table could allow. He did as the lady said, and then stood there, not sure if there was anything else to do. “That is all, Benjamin.”

“That is his name?” the king asked. “Benjamin?”

The lady nodded, smiling politely. “Yes, it is.”

That still did not stop the glare directed at Benjamin. Perhaps, in the king’s eyes, he was a thief, and he will always be a thief. Perhaps the lady was wrong, and he did not care for Benjamin’s name. Why would he? He was a stranger to the king, who only knew bad things of him.

“Your Majesty,” said the lady. “Will you need someone to be with you after the meal?”

The king looked at Princess Jane. “If my sister does not stay afterwards, yes. Will you?”

She smiled sadly at him. “I apologize, Brother. I have much I need to get ready for the travel tomorrow. I can only stay to eat.”

He nodded. “Then I will need someone.” _For what?_ Benjamin wondered. “Can you come?” the king asked her.

She laughed, but somehow, it seemed polite, and the king was unfazed by it. “I, too, have to apologize. I cannot be here. I have some matters to take care of. I can, if you’d like, send Benjamin here once you’ve finished.”

The king eyed Benjamin for a second. Then two, three, four. When would he look away? Benjamin felt like the king was burning into his soul. He turned back to the lady. His looks were softer with her and the princess. It didn’t matter to Benjamin, anyway. Maybe when he’s dead, he wouldn’t look at Benjamin this way. Wait, why was he thinking this way again? Didn’t he just feel bad for the princess when he’d thought of assassinating the king? “Very well. I suppose it is better to have my own servant get used to me.”

He didn’t know what any of this meant. Why did the king need someone? What was Benjamin supposed to do? He knew the lady would tell him but he couldn’t help but wonder for now. He had a right to know the answers as the servant, didn’t he?

The lady bowed her head. “Enjoy your meal,” she said. Benjamin also bowed, then as she left, he had followed.

Once they were away from the door, the lady said, “You did well.”

“Thank you,” he said. “But what does the king need me for?”

“He needs you for when he takes the medicine. He cannot eat his food without feeling sick, so he will feel weak, and will need assistance for a bit before he feels fine.” She made a turn towards the right. He tried to remember that. “It will be hard at first, to see him so sick. If you have a heart for him, I feel you will find it hard. But with that said, I’m surprised he agreed to _you_ coming to see him. He doesn’t like it when others see him in such a vulnerable state.”

“I can understand that,” he said. That was probably the only thing he could understand from the king’s behavior. Other than that, there was nothing he could excuse or accept. “And when will I know when to see him?” he asked.

“Do not worry. The princess will come here to tell us when she’s finished.”

That was fine by him. He had sat in the servants’ room and ate for a bit before he felt guilty for eating without his grandmother. “Can I bring some of this home?” he asked the other servants.

“Yes, we always bring our portions back home. The castle food is too good to be wasted.” That was a relief. His grandmother would be happy to see such nice, colorful food. Even if the servants’ food didn’t look as great as the king’s meal did, but it still tasted like nothing Benjamin had eaten before.

The princess had come to tell Benjamin that they were done, smiles and cheers on her face, then she had left to her chamber. Now, it was time for Benjamin to face the even more ugly side of the king. He did not look forward to this.

He had knocked on the door and waited for a bit.

“Come inside.” It was faint. It wasn’t the usual king’s voice – the voice that shook the place with his anger. It wasn’t that. It was so weak, it could barely be heard. Benjamin opened the door to a sight he’d never thought he would see.

The king was sitting down, not in a chair, but on the floor, his back against a corner. He was breathing hard, his lips slightly parted. And his eyes – they were tired, blankly staring at the wall. His body was covered in sweat. How could his posture and his appearance change so much in such a short time?

His was leaning against the walls at first, but then he huddled on top of a sack that Benjamin had not noticed earlier. From the sounds, Benjamin could tell the food was leaving the king’s body. It was not a pleasant appearance. But oddly enough, it made Benjamin appreciate seeing the king in a new light. Perhaps he needed to see the weaker side.

With a shaky hand, the king pointed towards the water and the cloth that were laid on the dresser – the closest surface to the king’s place beside the floor. Benjamin, afraid the king might shout at him despite his current weakness, hurried to get the items that the king wanted.

The first thing King Ethan reached for was the cloth. He wiped his mouth, then with his skinny fingers, he reached for the water. He seemed to be less shaken now, but he was still weak. He swished some water in his mouth to rinse it, then he drank the rest.

He handed Benjamin the cup back, and Benjamin put it on the tray that the uneaten food was left on, which surprised Benjamin. The food on the tray was split in half. One side had most of the food eaten. The other side, which had the medicine in it, was mostly untouched.

Benjamin turned back to the king. “Is there anything else I can do, Your Majesty?” he asked, trying to fight the urge to flee. Realizing how loyal he had to be to the king for now was not a great feeling, although he didn’t mind him now. He was bearable.

The king lifted his eyes to look at Benjamin for a second before returning to how he was before – staring blankly at the floor. “You need not look at me. I am weak. It is an appalling sight. I know that.” He took a breath. “I am appalling.” The last sentence was a mere murmur, but Benjamin could hear it well. It sent shivers down his body.

Benjamin wanted to say something to the king, but he did not know what to say. He did not want to comfort a monster, but he did not lack empathy. He could tell the king didn’t love himself if he could say such a sentence with as much seriousness as he did. But Benjamin did not have the chance. The king spoke before he could.

“Help me stand, Benjamin,” he said. This was the first time he had called him by name. But there was no time to dwell on the fact, and to dwell on what this meant, if it meant anything. He just went to help the king stand. Oh, how he would have been happy before to be able to hold the-once-Prince Ethan before and be this close. He would have been happy to help him in his time of need. Now, he felt nothing but pity.

Which was strange. He would have thought he would have felt disgusted. The odor was not pleasant in the corner, and everything about what he was doing went against his instincts. He did not want to help him, yet he had to. Still, he did not feel disgust. He still felt hatred towards the cruel king in front of him, but he felt those emotions become numb at the moment. If Benjamin had seen a man in distress in the streets, he would help no matter how evil he was. And now, an evil king was asking for aid. Benjamin was not going to say no. He was a human, after all, and he had human emotions.

Once the king was standing, he had let Benjamin go. He could walk, but he was slow and tired, as Benjamin expected. _He is shorter than me_ , Benjamin realized. He did not know why, but he had always thought the king was taller. No, he wasn’t even close to Benjamin’s height. It made him feel so much smaller than he even felt at the moment.

The final thing the king wanted to do was be on his bed, it seemed. “I will not sleep now, but I will not leave the bed. Would you blow the candles but the one on this table?” he asked, pointing to a table by his bed.

It was not as if Benjamin had a choice, so he did as the king said. He had gone to blow the candles farther away from the king first, mostly out of fear of getting close to him. Although, why was he this way? Why was Benjamin so scared of the king now? He seemed strangely polite, and he wasn’t frowning and grimacing like he was before. No, he seemed more human now than he did before.

The last candle was the one on a table that was close to the king’s side of the bed. He grabbed the candle, but his fingers brushed against a necklace that was on the table. It was not Princess Jane’s. He had seen one Princess wear this necklace, and it was not Jane. It was the king’s late wife. Benjamin swallowed. If only Princess Sarah was here. Oh, how kind and brave she was. She would yell at her husband for all he’d done. She’d make him grow a spine. But she wasn’t here anymore. The king probably missed her, too.

At that moment, he felt the king’s stare at him. He was scared to look, but he didn’t know why he did anyway. It didn’t matter now because the king looked away once Benjamin turned to him. Truly, the king was vulnerable, and he did not fight it, it seemed.

He blew the candle, then set it on the table. Even though he could barely see through the light of the one candle, he bowed and said goodnight to the king. It seemed like he hadn’t had a good night in a while.

After leaving the room, Benjamin let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. He expected to hate the king even more after coming to serve him in the castle. Why has it been the other way around?

It did not matter anymore. What mattered was his grandmother getting food today – and plenty of it. Besides that, she was probably scared now as Benjamin hadn’t returned yet. She didn’t know what happened to him. He had to go see her as soon as he could.

After he was told a few more things about his work in the castle, Benjamin gladly left with the meal. His grandmother would be happy Benjamin was alive, with food in his hands and money promised to him soon. He would not steal as long as he had this life.

* * *

Darkness was peaceful. It was Ethan’s only friend for the past six years. People were scared of the darkness and what lurked behind it, but Ethan wasn’t. He knew what people called him. To them, he _was_ the monster that lurked in the darkness. Even his servant seemed scared of him.

_Why am I like this?_ He wondered to himself. _Why do I drive people away? I have a choice, so why did I choose to be feared?_ He must be crazy. That’s it. He was madly driven by loneliness, and he didn’t know how to get away from it.

He wiped his face with his hand. His chest hurt so much. _Someone, end the pain._ He wished he could die in his sleep. He wouldn’t have to suffer anymore. He could be with his family. He could hug his mother and father. He could be with his lover again. He could hold his one-year-old son again. And his sister would be a better queen. He just didn’t want to be here anymore.

He turned to look at the table beside him. The servant, the thief, Benjamin had been looking at the necklace. Had he wanted to steal it? He could have. He could be a traitor to the throne. He should behead this man while he could.

What was he thinking? He _was_ crazy. Benjamin, as he was told, stole food. He was a hungry man. He could possibly steal jewelry, yes, but if Ethan mistrusted everyone in his path, he could die. He could be killed. He did not want to die with chaos spreading in the castle. He wanted peace. And he was doing a bad job at keeping it. He supposed it was a bit late for peace now. It could not be achieved.

Still, he could not stay the way he was. He needed to change. Or else his sister would never come. He would be alone forever. He’d have no one. A knot formed in his throat. He truly was alone in this world, wasn’t he?

But Jane wasn’t wrong to make her brother have a servant to himself. He’s isolated himself for far too long. Even if his sister will leave tomorrow first thing in the morning, he wasn’t going to be completely alone. It was a blessing in disguise.

However, the man was a thief, and Ethan needed to be careful. Besides that, he wasn’t going to let him have an easy job. He still committed crimes and he wasn’t supposed to be rewarded for them. He will get to that tomorrow. For now, he needed to hide the necklace. He could not have it stolen. It was one of the few things he had left of his family.

He held the necklace. Sarah, so beautiful, and cheerful, and strong. How he missed her. He did not dwell on her death every day, but he thought of her at the back of his head often. But hopefully now, she was resting peacefully with their son. With what little energy he had, he got up and locked the necklace in a chest.

He lied down in bed, and went to sleep. He did not know how he slept. He’d always drifted off into a deep slumber even with horrible chest pains and a weak body. But he did it eventually, and like every night, he did not have sweet dreams. Instead, he had ones filled with screams, torture, and fear.

* * *

**Here we are! I really loved writing this fic! It was soooo fun. Like, you wouldn’t believe how much I enjoyed myself. I’ve never written like this! Dude, why can’t I write this detailed in my normal writing?**

**Anyway, I tried to be as accurate as I could to the middle ages. Still, there were things I couldn’t find, so I had to make up something. But in general, I’m so proud! Patting myself in the back.**

**Hope you guys enjoyed this fic. I would love to hear your feedback, guys! Means a lot to me! You’ve no idea how happy I get when I read from you guys.**

**Until next time!**


	2. Unlikely Help

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys!
> 
> Really glad you guys are enjoying the story. I was actually pretty nervous at first. I was happy with what I wrote, but I didn’t know how much you guys were willing to read medieval stories. Cause I have a few medieval ideas. Happy with the outcome so far!
> 
> Also, on a note, I’m trying to be as accurate as possible to their times based on my previous knowledge and my research, so forgive me for mistakes that you might catch. However, I can’t be correct all the way. And I won’t care to make every detail accurate. That being said, one thing I won’t change is the names, despite the fact that I changed Benny’s name, but that’s because it’s easy to change it without actually changing it.
> 
> To me, surprisingly, especially since I don’t know shit about English names or used-by-English-speakers kind of names, I just found out Erica is like the least name relevant to the middle ages. Like, it’s been used in the 19th century or something. Not before. Rory is also surprisingly medieval. If I recall correctly, it’s Gaelic, so it was used in Ireland. The rest are like Hebrew or something. Just thought that was interesting to share.
> 
> Wow, that was a long intro. Let’s just start, my dears.

Benjamin didn’t know what to expect from his first full day as the king’s servant. Yesterday, he’d seen a few different sides of King Ethan. He was cruel, sad, and secretly sick. How many other faces did the king have? Or was that all?

Most importantly, now that Benjamin’s had a good night’s sleep to think clearly, did he still feel empathetic towards the king? Did he really want to assassinate him? He didn’t know. He’d have to see how the day unfolds to judge his own intentions.

Before he’d left his room, he’d laid eyes on a knife he had. His grandmother didn’t know about it. She should never know. This was the weapon he had initially wanted to kill the king with, but had decided not to bring it as the castle guards could easily find it if it was hidden in his clothes. He turned away from it. He didn’t want to see it now. This was not a time to make decisions.

Besides, today, Princess Jane would leave. That would mean the king stays alone in this big castle. Even Benjamin felt lonelier by the fact, and the castle was never filled with people in the beginning. Somehow, Princess Jane gave her brother life.

“Usually, the king needs to be woken up,” said the head maid. “Today, I saw him walking early in the morning. He is getting ready to say goodbye to his sister. He is always like this on the princess’ arrival and departure.” Benjamin wouldn’t blame him. If he had only a sister left in his life who loved him, he’d give her all his attention as well.

“I see,” he said. “And what do I need to do now?”

“Well, the king and princess will eat in the dining hall in a bit. I would like you to bring the food with me,” she said.

“Does the king need his medicine?” he asked.

“When the king eats in the dining hall, we don’t bring him the medicine immediately. We wait until he goes to his room so he can have it there privately,” she said. So, he shouldn’t bring it. Not now.

Benjamin got the food with the maid to the dining hall. The king and princess were there, talking to each other. For a second, Benjamin thought he’d seen a smile from the King. It was quick to disappear. Benjamin would not like to think he was imagining the smile, even thought that would be more plausible. The king was just probably not a person to show joy, but he definitely felt it. He had to at one point.

“Good morning, Your Majesty,” he said to the king. “Good morning, Your Highness,” he said to the princess. From the corner of his eyes, he could see the maid smiling proudly.

“Good morning,” said the princess back. “It’s good to see you haven’t fled for your life yet.”

“Sister,” King Ethan said in a warning tone.

“Yes, Brother? Have I said something that I haven’t witnessed before?” she said.

“If you do not want me to have a servant as you have so desired, then I welcome you to tell him all the bad things about me,” he said.

“I’m sure he knows all about them,” she said.

She was witty, as always. Benjamin remembered hearing that the king used to be witty and clever when he was a prince. He probably still was, but he was masking his personality with his cruelty. But as Benjamin had wanted to point out, Princess Jane really was his sister. They shared some things in common, and it was clear to Benjamin.

Benjamin kept quite during the argument between the siblings. He did his job of putting the food on the table then after politely asking if the king needed anything else, he left.

He’d gone to get some food for himself then sat down to eat. He remembered giving the food to his grandmother the previous night. She was worried for him at first. She had demanded an explanation for where he was. When he had said he would only answer if she took the food, which he promised was earned and not stolen, he told her the events that unfolded, making sure to leave out the part where he almost committed treason against the king. She was angry at so many things that Benjamin had done, but at the end of the day, she made it clear that she wanted Benjamin to be safe and careful in the future.

He had finished his food and waited for _anything_ to happen. Soon enough, he saw the princess where he was – the servant’s room – looking around. When she laid eyes on him, she motioned for him to come. He approached her and greeted her.

“What was your name?” she asked.

“Benjamin,” he reminded her.

“Ah, yes, Benjamin,” she said. “I will be leaving in a bit. I have but one thing to ask of you. You don’t have to do it, but I would appreciate it if you do. It would mean a lot to me.”

“What is it?” he asked her.

“Please,” she said, “be there for my brother. I know his people do not like him, and I don’t assume you do, either. However, he is alone. And in his loneliness, he does horrible things. He becomes a danger to his people, and he might one day become a danger to himself. The only reason I decided to put you in this position is because I want someone by his side so he does not remain by himself all the time.”

Benjamin nodded. He hoped he could fulfill her wishes. “Yes, Your Highness. I will do my best.”

“Thank you, Benjamin,” she said. She was visibly calmer now, but she didn’t seem like she’s in a peaceful position now. “I feel that I will not see you on this trip anymore, so I must say farewell here.”

“Of course, Your Highness. Farewell and have a safe trip,” he said. He felt sympathy for her. Benjamin was approaching his thirties, and he didn’t have to go through as many hardships as Princess Jane had, who was only twenty-three of age.

Once she had left, Benjamin felt the heaviness of the responsibility that was given to him. What the princess had said was an obvious part of the job, but her words put importance in it. Like she said, he didn’t have to do it. He could leave this job whenever he wanted, and he knew that, but for some reason, he felt like he needed to try for the princess. He _wanted_ to try for the princess.

Truly, he did not see her when she left. All he saw was what had happened following her departure. Benjamin had gone to the king’s room to give him medicine. When he had entered the room, the king didn’t seem as happy anymore – not as if he showed happiness, but Benjamin wasn’t blind. He could tell the difference between the king when his sister was here and when she wasn’t. At the moment, he was looking at the empty surface of his dresser. “Your Majesty, I’ve brought your medic-”

“I don’t want it,” he cut him off. “I’ll be sick. Let’s see who cares.”

He was scared and confused all of a sudden because he was just instructed to give the king some medicine, but he didn’t want to accept it. He didn’t know if his health was a priority or if his word was. Benjamin swallowed his pride and said, “But Your Majesty, I was told you need it.”

The king looked at him with the sharpest look he had ever witnessed. “I am your king, and I told you I will not have it. Do you think your words are more powerful than mine?”

If the king was a normal man like any other, Benjamin would have metaphorically stepped on him like the pest he was. But this was the king. He couldn’t do that no matter how much he despised him. “No. I was only trying to do my job. I will not give you the medicine since you command it.”

“Good. You are dismissed now, but before you go, this is my warning to you. If you speak to me like that again, there will be consequences, Thief.”

Benjamin wished he could beat the king to see how it felt. “Understood,” he said in a low voice, then left. He did not want to see the king again. He knew he would, though, for at least two more time since he had to serve the meals. Who knew what else the king wanted him for?

He’d gone back to the servants’ room. He was aware how angry he looked, but he didn’t care.

* * *

Benjamin didn’t just serve the king personally, which was a good thing. Yes, he had many more tasks he needed to do now, but as long as he didn’t see the king while he worked, he was happy. He was also starting to learn how to do his job properly at the castle, which was a bit hard for him for now, but he knew that in a few days, this will all be trivial to him.

Meanwhile, the king did his duties. Of course, Benjamin was not there when the king was doing whatever a king did, but he’d hear things when he’d pass by the throne room. Even though it didn’t appear like the king cared for his people as he acted ice cold in front of them, he surprisingly was strict when it came to the kingdom’s safety. Benjamin did notice, now that he thought of it, how much safer the people were from external threats. Of course, their biggest threat at the moment was the king himself, but outside threats weren’t a problem to them as much as they used to be. The king was good at agreeing on deals with other royalty and noblemen, and he was good at making sure he had the best guards and knights. Even though Benjamin himself had stolen many times, the crimes in this kingdom weren’t as they used to be before. Their only other big problem was poverty.

After the king’s afternoon meal, Benjamin was called by the maid again. “Benjamin, the king wants you.”

“What for?” he asked, not knowing what to expect.

“I am not sure exactly, but I am aware he is going to ride on his horse later today. Perhaps he’ll hunt as well. Or he’ll practice with his bow and arrow. You shall go and see for yourself,” she said. He agreed, then he was escorted to where the king was.

The king was outside the castle. He wasn’t on the side that was in front of the kingdom where people could see him. He was on the other side where there were trees, there was more grass, and there was a river. It was perfect for a king to spend him time here.

The maid was right about something – the king was going to practice archery. However, it was to Benjamin’s horror that the target was not fixed to an object. Instead, it was thrown on the side with its back exposed. It had a handle. It was a target that seemed like it was meant to be held by a person.

If Benjamin was the one who would be ordered to hold the target, he could handle himself well. Even though he was scared of the king for one reason or another, he was not afraid to fight for himself and to say no to him. He didn’t care for the consequences no matter how the king threatened him, and no matter how much his grandmother would disapprove. But it wasn’t Benjamin who was going to hold the target. It was another man who took it, maybe a servant as well. Benjamin couldn’t tell. It didn’t matter to him. This was a human and Benjamin empathized with him. Even if he wasn’t a human, he would still empathize. He had a heart for animals and _even_ wild beasts. But not monsters such as the king.

In the king’s hands were a bow and arrow. He had turned back to see Benjamin coming. “You finally came,” said the king. “Here. Take this.” He had given him the quiver which had his arrows.

 _Couldn’t he just strap it on his back? Like a normal person?_ Benjamin thought. _Why did he need me for this? I don’t want to participate._

The man had positioned himself away from the king so that he was in front of the river. The target was facing the king a good distance away, but it was too close to the river. The man might even fall. Benjamin could see the target shaking a little. The man was scared. Benjamin would be, too, no matter how much he’d heard the king was good at archery.

“Be steady,” the king said, aiming the arrow towards the target. “Unless you want the arrow to go through you.”

 _Stop_ , Benjamin thought. He wanted to speak very badly, but he was frozen in his spot.

The king shot the first arrow, and it landed almost at the center. He _was_ good at archery, but that still wouldn’t make the situation any better. Benjamin turned his head sideways now. He didn’t want to look at the scene anymore. If he looked away, he wouldn’t speak against the king. That was a good way to avoid angering him.

Benjamin saw a hand come to take an arrow, then he heard a breathy laugh. “Are you scared, Thief?” he asked. “Don’t be scared. In fact, I demand you to look.”

Benjamin _did_ look, but he looked at the king, not the man. He had had enough of this nonsense. He wanted to speak up. “I will not. I cannot stay here if you force me to look.”

“You must obey me,” King Ethan said.

“I must but I will not,” Benjamin said.

“You dare go against me?” the king said.

Benjamin had one hand in a fist out of anger. How dare the king have no heart? “The man is scared. And for good reasons.” His voice was higher than he had intended for it to be. Still, he didn’t care. “Have you no mercy?”

The king was calm with his body and face, but his raised voice was an indication of his impatience. “He did not protest, did he?”

“Of course, he won’t. You wouldn’t give him a choice,” said Benjamin. He might as well be dead now because the king seemed like he wanted to kill him.

“If you’re so adamant on defending him, then you stand behind the target,” the king said.

“No, Your Majesty,” said the man. “I will stand here if you wish so.”

“This thief doesn’t. He thinks he has power in my castle. I will show him who really does,” he said.

“Fine. I will stand behind the target,” he said. He came up to the man and took the target from his hand. It was a bit heavier than he thought it would be.

The man whispered to him, “Are you mad? He will have your head off.”

“I am,” Benjamin whispered back. Then the man left.

It was intimidating being in this position. The river roaring behind him, the king standing in front of him with his arrow. It wasn’t a nice place to be in. Well, since he’s already angered the king, he had nothing else to fear. “I’ve stood behind the target,” he said. Isn’t that what the king demanded? His job was done, then.

The target was light enough for him to move it easily. Remaining his eye contact with the king, he threw the target into the river. His could hear his blood pumping violently in his ears. He may have stepped over the line, but he didn’t care. This condescending king would not have the satisfaction of humiliating Benjamin.

He walked away without even being dismissed. Before that, he saw the face of shock and anger on the king. As he walked, he could hear the king cursing at him. It did not matter to him. If he died, at least it wouldn’t be because of theft or treason. It would be because he was helping someone.

**[BREAK]**

Benjamin had gone back to the castle even though he didn’t want to. The moment the news reached the maid, Benjamin was being yelled at. He knew he shouldn’t be going against the king, but at least the maid yelling at him was better than the king. Her words had weight to them. The king only spoke nonsense.

“I will not hear of this again, Benjamin,” the maid said. “And neither does the king want someone to _throw his target into the river_. What were you thinking?” She sounded like his grandmother at the moment. Even though Benjamin felt the urgency to defend himself, he knew this would make matters worse. “The king wants an apology.”

Benjamin almost laughed. The king wanted an apology? He should’ve demanded one the moment Benjamin had thrown the target away since his words were so powerful. “All right,” he said even though he did not want to see the king for the second time today.

When he had gone to see the king in his room, he pacing around until Benjamin opened the door. “I did not know you were a crazy man or else I wouldn’t have let my sister be merciful to you.” He sat down on a chair by his small, round table. “Do you wish to be dead? Or do you want to apologize?” he asked.

“If you want me dead, then kill me,” _just as you’ve killed my parents_ , “because I am not apologizing. It does not matter to me if you are the king of this kingdom. You should not treat your people like this. And you wonder why people hate you?” He was crossing the line again. “Why shouldn’t people hate you?”

Surprisingly the king did not yell at him again. “And do _you_ hate me, Benjamin?” he asked. It was also odd that he did not refer to him as a thief.

 _I didn’t yesterday. I do now. Altogether, I don’t know anymore._ He would rather not say that.

“I will assume that means _yes_ ,” he said. Somehow, it felt like this hurt the king more than anything Benjamin had done. The arguing in the morning didn’t have as much of an impact. The target did not have much of an impact. Why did the king sound like this like this assumption of a _yes_ meant more to him? “I understand. You may leave today.”

“Leave today?” he asked, confused. He did not know whether the king didn’t want him for the rest of the day or forever.

“Yes,” the king said. That did not help. Following the king’s orders for once, he left the castle.

* * *

Again, Benjamin’s grandmother was not happy with his decisions. He did not fail to disappoint her, did he? He also disappointed himself at the end of the day, but he didn’t know what else to say. He did what he thought was right at the moment. Even now, he wouldn’t do anything differently.

The next day, he did not go to the castle. He remembered what Princess Jane said. He shouldn’t leave the king’s side. But he didn’t have many choices. Either he went to the castle and risk the king not wanting him to be there anymore, or he could continue his previous job that didn’t give food or as much money. He chose the latter as it didn’t have the risk of seeing King Ethan’s wrath.

He had gone to the man who had let him work before. Or rather, he had gone to the place he used to work at before. The man was not there this early in the morning. Benjamin even forgot about that. So, he sat down, waiting for him to arrive.

He could hear the birds, he could see the sun shining brightly. Perhaps this life wouldn’t be so bad. He wouldn’t have food or money like he used to, but he wouldn’t directly suffer from the king every day.

From the distance, he could hear a sound he didn’t usually hear in this place. The sound of hooves. Was there someone riding on a horse here? Why would anyone do so? No one in their area had enough money to buy a horse, let alone ride one.

In between the small crowd that was gathered in their poor area, Benjamin saw a man on a horse coming towards him. He thought the man would pass him, but he didn’t. He stopped in front of Benjamin.

“Benjamin?” the man asked. His hair was as yellow as the sun. His clothes were of fine quality.

“Yes?” he asked.

“I was told by the people that you might be here. I would like to introduce myself. My name is Lord Rory. I told the king I’ll bring you to him. I know this area well,” he said, smiling proudly at himself. How could he be associated with the king when he seemed so much more happier and nicer?

“But why would the king want me to be brought back?” he asked. Was this Benjamin’s end? Will he die now? Was he finally going to see his parents again?

“He did not tell me the details. He only said he wanted you in the castle,” the lord said. That still did not help Benjamin. “I can tell you are afraid. You don’t mask your fear well, do you? I can assure you the king never sends me for fearsome news. Now, come with me.”

And so, he came along. If Lord Rory was never sent for fearsome news then why did the king send him? Did he still want Benjamin to work in the castle? But he wouldn’t send a _lord_ to Benjamin just for that. Maybe a guard would do, but why a nobleman?

They soon arrived at the castle and already Lord Rory was greeted with more cheer than anyone in this castle, except for Princess Jane, maybe. Lord Rory walked through the castle, looking for the king before he realized he didn’t know where exactly to go. They saw a guard, who said the king was in castle’s garden. The garden was close to where the king wanted to practice archery, but it wasn’t exactly there.

“Shouldn’t we go from here?” Benjamin suggested, pointing at a hallway.

Rory looked at it, then followed with a few seconds of silence. “No. It’s dusty and it scares me.”

“Scares you? Why?” Benjamin asked.

“You’ve walked through this castle?” Lord Rory asked. Benjamin nodded in response. “But you haven’t walked here?”

“No, the maid never walks through there,” he said, wondering to himself as to why that was.

“Well, the king doesn’t walk there, either. No one wants to.” Why wouldn’t the king walk there? Benjamin had so many questions regarding King Ethan.

The two men walked to the garden where the king was sitting. Today, he did not look angry. He did not look hurt. He did not look sad. He looked somewhat neutral. Actually, he looked like he was pondering amongst the beauty of the castle for once.

“Thank you, Lord Rory, for bringing him here. Though, you took a bit longer than I thought,” he said.

“Yes, I got lost in the castle even though I’ve been here countless times,” the lord said, laughing.

“That sounds like something you’d do. Very well. If you have any other matters to tend to, go ahead,” the king said. He was very polite now, something Benjamin rarely saw these days.

“Yes, I do. Have a good day, Your Majesty,” he said, walking away.

“I told you, do not call me that,” the king said.

“I will call you whatever I want, Your Majesty,” Lord Rory yelled at the king. He seemed to lighten the air in this dark and terrifying castle.

Lord Rory was no longer in the garden within a few seconds, and it was just the king and Benjamin together.

“Where have you gone, Benjamin?” he asked. “I thought you would be back today.”

Benjamin did not want to answer, but he couldn’t afford not to. He couldn’t afford anything, actually. “I thought you did not want me here in the castle.”

“Of course I do!” the king exclaimed. That came out a bit louder than Benjamin had expected. And louder than the king seemed to have expected as the king cleared his throat and pretended to divert his attention for a bit.

“Why?” he asked, genuinely surprised.

The king sat on a big piece of stone that was carved to make the seat that it was now. Benjamin could tell the impressive handwork that went into this. But that didn’t matter because the king motioned for Benjamin to sit beside him. The king wanted a poor servant to sit beside him? In this expensive seat? Odd. He did so, anyway. He didn’t want the king angry today. He didn’t seem like he wanted Benjamin here just to be angry. There was another motive. Benjamin could tell.

At first, the king looked at the beautiful plants that were welting in the garden. “Benjamin, I want you to answer me, and I want you to answer honestly,” he said, looking at Benjamin now. If Benjamin was asked seven years ago what he would think if he sat here in this beautiful garden by Prince Ethan, he would say he would have wanted a kiss from the prince. Now he wanted Prince Ethan back. He didn’t want King Ethan anymore. “Am I a good man?”

The question made Benjamin think twice. He did not expect the king to ask that question. If anything, he didn’t seem to care for such things. He thought about the answer carefully. Was this a trick? Well, it didn’t seem like one. “I believe you could be, but you don’t act like one.”

“I did not ask what you believe, or how I act,” he said.

How was he supposed to answer? He did not know the king well enough to see if he was a good man. From what Benjamin had seen, he seemed like he had goodness inside him, but he didn’t use that. He’d decided to be a bad king. Does that indicate anything about how good of a man he was? He wasn’t sure. “I’m afraid I don’t know the answer. If you ask what I think, I would tell you _maybe_ , but definitively? I don’t know.” Was he a good man? “Only you know the answer to that. May I ask you the same question?” he asked. “Are you a good man?”

The king took in a deep breath. “No.” He let his shoulders sink. “I am not a good man, Benjamin. I haven’t seen anything any goodness from me lately.”

It somehow felt relieving, even to Benjamin. Did he just admit it? Finally, after six years, did he admit it?

“I think that’s why I called you here. I need your help. I never ask for help. But this time, I am desperate,” he said. “I know you are not a perfect man, but I believe you can help me become better. You are the only one who dared to face me and convince me how … how _horrible_ I am as a king. I _need_ to become better.” He never sounded so sincere to Benjamin. “Would you be willing to help, Benjamin?”

He didn’t even hesitate. He nodded. “Of course, Your Majesty. I don’t know exactly how I’ll help you, but I’ll try,” he said.

“I will tell you how you can help,” he said. “Go against me when you feel I’m wrong.” It felt odd. No one went against the king _on his own order_ , but he guessed he felt special now. He was going to help the king be a good man – be a good king.

“As you wish,” he said. “Does this mean I will still be your servant?”

“Yes,” said the king. “It will be better. If you are my personal servant, you would still be provided the necessities you need, and it wouldn’t be strange for you to stand beside me most times.”

“I will do my best,” he said.

“I also will,” said the king. “I suppose I should start by treating you better. That does not mean I will be naïve. You are still my servant, and you shall act like you are.”

“I understand that,” said Benjamin. He didn’t expect any less.

The king stood up. “I shall go now. I have much to do.” He eyed Benjamin up and down. “You go change now. I cannot have my servant walking around with these clothes. What would my sister say about me?”

Benjamin wanted to chuckle, but he held the urge in. Instead, he settled for a small smile, then he stood up. But first, he knew he needed to wait for the king to leave first. As he walked away, Benjamin noticed something that truly bothered him.

* * *

The king’s body had always been weak. But during his supper, during this morning’s breakfast, he didn’t have an appetite. He shouldn’t be doing this to himself. He knew that. He should eat more. But his body did not want to cooperate. Even if he ate something, his body wouldn’t want it. He could even feel his body sweating, then shivering, then sweating again.

He took a step away from the garden, then another, then another. He tried to mask his weakness, but he knew he was bad at it.

“Your Majesty, you look like you might fall,” said Benjamin from behind him. “If you need assistance, you may tell me. That _is_ what I’m here for.”

Why would he want to help Ethan? Why would he even care? He knew now Benjamin had an additional responsibility, but that didn’t necessarily mean he needed to _care_ for the king. “It’s fine, Benjamin,” he said. “I can walk on my own.” He couldn’t. Not for long. Why was he pushing Benjamin away? Why was he still doing the thing he’d set out to destroy?

“Your Majesty, you brought me here to go against you if I feel you’re wrong. And now, frankly, you seem like you are. You need help and you refuse it,” he said.

He was right. The king should get more help. That wasn’t necessarily going to make the king instantly change. He would probably still revert back to his old habits, but he was learning. “Fine. If you want to help, then take me somewhere I can sit inside. I’m afraid I hadn’t eaten well.”

Benjamin was quick to help him get to the nearest seat in the castle – which happened to be at the dining hall. Shortly after, he went to get the king some food to eat. This left Ethan alone with his thoughts.

He looked at the long, empty table. At the head of it was the king. The lonely, cruel king. He hated the dining hall. Hated sitting there alone. There was a reason he preferred eating in his room when he didn’t have anyone in the castle to eat with – which was most of the time.

Throughout the castle, he could see the ghosts of his past. Not actual ghosts. Good God, would that scare him. No, this was his imagination – his memories, actually.

He would see his father walking with him sometimes, as they usually did when he was alive. He would see his mother walking with his princess in the hallways. These were very usual encounters he used to have six years ago. No one was there anymore.

Worst of all was the dining hall. This was where everyone would sit and eat. They would be five or six people normally seated here, depending on whether Jane was in the kingdom or not. His father would sit where he was right now – at the head of the table. His mother would be on his father’s right. Even though she disliked it when chairs were separated unevenly, she would still move hers closer to the king so she could be near him. Ethan would sit on his father’s left with Princess Sarah beside him. Whispering to him then chatting with the queen. She’d hold their son in her arms and feed him his own food. Once he had almost finished his first year, he started getting curious with other food. He’d sit on the table and bite on anything that he found interesting before his mother would realize what he was doing.

The castle was full of life before. Now even the people who wanted to be around him – he pushed them away. Like Lord Rory. He would request to join him sometimes as a kind gesture, but Ethan would refuse. It wasn’t that he didn’t want Rory to join him. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust him. It _was_ that he was triggered by mistrust. His family trusted a man who ended up killing them all, and only leaving Ethan alive purposefully to make him suffer. _‘Why?’_ he used to ask himself. _‘What did I do to deserve this?’_ He genuinely didn’t have bad intentions before the incident. He was trying to be kind, fair, loving. But he figured out why later. After he had changed – after he thought that caring meant he was weak.

It wasn’t him – he wasn’t the problem at first. It was Jesse himself – the one who killed his family. It was lust and desire for the princess that made him lose his mind. Now, Ethan was the one who lost his mind. It was already too late for him to change back. He was used to being this way.

Yesterday, he felt like he woke up. One thought led to another, and suddenly, he felt like he had the key to being a good man again. If he felt like he couldn’t change himself, someone else who cared enough might help. Benjamin – a man who was so stupid, he was willing to speak against the king and throw his target in the river. If Benjamin could help him, Jane might return. If Benjamin could help him, he could be fair to his people again. They might not hate him anymore. Benjamin might not hate him anymore.

He saw the brunet walk towards him with a tray of messily put-together food. He first poured Ethan a cup of water, then put the food as best as he could in front of him.

Benjamin – a man who wasn’t only stupid. He was a man who was brave. This kingdom needed brave people. There was something to be admired about this man. “Thank you, Benjamin,” he said. Benjamin’s green eyes were wide as they fixed on the king for a few seconds. He did not expect the king to thank him, did he? Ethan laughed and said, “I told you, I am trying.”

Benjamin gave a nod. “I appreciate that, Your Majesty.”

He didn’t know what felt better – to feel like someone was having faith in you, or to feel like you have faith in yourself. If he was debating with himself what feeling was better, then definitely today is better than yesterday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are getting somewhere, my dudes!
> 
> This chapter took a different turn than I expected, but I am very happy with the outcome. Still, I’m enjoying this story. Surprisingly very fun to write.
> 
> That’s it for today. Hope you guys enjoyed the story. Leave a review if you did. Really helps out.
> 
> Until next time!


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